I felt very seen by this piece. My kids are almost 8 and 5 and I still haven’t felt any desire to return to 40 hour weeks. This is the first year they are both at school 5 days and I find myself still rebelling against the capitalist productivity and wanting to relish some rest. I maxed out at working 20-25 hours when I returned to work after staying home with my kids-18 months with my first and then ultimately 13 months with second (but that was pandemic time so it felt much longer- he went to our childcare center at 7 months old for 8 days before the school shut down).
Thank you for sharing your projects! I will be excited to read them all when they are ready, and I will reread your other books while I am waiting.
You are so not alone in these challenges. I’m no where near being a successful author and artist but there is always the challenge of how do I want to spend my time, how do I need to spend my time, how do I make time for all the things. And how do I find value in what I don’t isn’t all productivity?
Can totally relate although coming out the other side as been parenting young children for pst 23 years and now youngest is a teenager and it’s not the craziness of young children any more. Just another kind of crazy. But forever more one part of my brain is on standby for parenting even when working. And sometimes my brain runs away with ideas and I can’t physically keep up- and that’s hard. You’re amazing Phoebe. And you do the best you can. That is all we can do. Working mums are heroes x
I resonate deeply with everything you've written here about juggling new parenthood, work, and tending to the creative spark. It's truly too much, and things get dropped! After the birth of my second kid, my license expired and I didn't notice for 6 months (thankfully with a remote job I don't need to drive much, ha!).
I won't try to impart any advice, just wanted to say I see you, fellow working creative parent, and I'm holding you in the light (as we Quakers say).
The resonance is so so so deep. Thank you for this candid and honest share that feels like a mirror in many ways. And we cannot wait for your new books -- absolutely obsessed with Little Witch Hazel, The Blue House, Sonya's Chickens, and everything You create. ✨🧡
As someone who will be stepping into parenthood for the first time in a few short months, I appreciate seeing that I’m not alone in grappling with productivity and identity. Thank you for sharing such vulnerable feelings.
This is very relatable. I have 4 & 5 year old boys and am only NOW getting some time during the days to work… before now I would only work in the evenings when they went to bed, and as I’m sure you can relate, I would be too tired to even go to the studio to begin with. *sigh*. Being an artist and a parent is very difficult. Making art fills your cup and recharges your soul, yet finding the time to devote to that feels nearly impossible. It often feels incredibly isolating (especially when most of your friends aren’t parents and can’t understand the struggle). Although, it feels nice to read things like this that make you feel less alone in it all :)
I relate so much to productivity being associated with my identity. And this year, I’m experiencing more of that overwhelm and freeze like you mentioned. It triggers so much shame. Lots to unpack I guess 😂
So I had to interrupt my reading to put The Dark Wives on hold at the library. I am a big fan of Ann Cleeves, butI also notice that Vera's fat body is talked about. It seems that Vera is willfully fat in an unhealthy and in a stereotypically hard-boiled kind of way. I will have to read the new one and get back to you. I do not like the Gamache novels, although I read a few of them. I find Gamache himself kind of off putting, because we are supposed to admire him so much.
Anyways, I really hear you about work, creativity and children. I don't know who I am anymore before motherhood. I write a substack newsletter with my younger kid. We are trying to figure out how productive we should be and how much we should encourage or congratulate each other for our productivity.
Yeah it's so interesting because sometimes the way that characters in the Vera books react to Vera's body (writing her off as being slovenly or unprofessional before their opinions being turned around) like ALMOST calls attention to and comments on anti-fat bias, and the way Vera reacts to herself too, berating herself and stuff, it feels really close to saying something really complex and compassionate, but I don't know if there's quite enough self awareness to push it over the edge into that... if that makes sense!
The books almost start a good conversation about anti-fat bias or fear of fatness. Vera still is alone amongst colleagues who respect her, rely on her, and are surprised by how quick she moves for a fat person. I seem to get the idea she is alone without a personal life or even real work friends because of how fat she is. I don't know. Maybe how she occupies her body is too much detail, too nuanced, to expect a crime novel togo into?
This post has really made me think about how I speak to and of my daughter. She is nearly 9, and she will do the same thing, draw and paint all day if she could; she's ever so good at it. But you're right. I don't want her to rely on praise, I don't want this to be her only identity because she knows she's good at it. I don't really know how to change this, but maybe I just, we just don't say anything at all. Maybe I talk too much. Xxx
And for what it's worth-- I really don't think praising kids or being positive and supportive of the things they're showing interest or passion in is all bad, like I said, I don't fault my parents for it, and I don't feel as the ONLY reason I create things is for praise or out of obligation to be productive. I think it's just a complex facet that feels so inextricably linked to existing in capitalism that I'm thinking a lot about. Just to be clear!! <3
It’s really refreshing to hear from an artist I admire that you’re also struggling with all the things!!! What a beautiful chance to redefine relationships to work. Thanks for this! Also, if you weren’t joking about the clogs, yes please?????? 😂💜
Oh wow this post gave me all the feels. A full hearted yea to wanting to be reminded of the 40 (42 for me) weeks of carrying. Also to the not wanting to be working more than full time
Hours but needing to. Oh I hear you sister. And I cannot even nearly wait for those new books. We are EXTREME little witch hazel fans in this household 🩷
I felt very seen by this piece. My kids are almost 8 and 5 and I still haven’t felt any desire to return to 40 hour weeks. This is the first year they are both at school 5 days and I find myself still rebelling against the capitalist productivity and wanting to relish some rest. I maxed out at working 20-25 hours when I returned to work after staying home with my kids-18 months with my first and then ultimately 13 months with second (but that was pandemic time so it felt much longer- he went to our childcare center at 7 months old for 8 days before the school shut down).
Thank you for sharing your projects! I will be excited to read them all when they are ready, and I will reread your other books while I am waiting.
You are so not alone in these challenges. I’m no where near being a successful author and artist but there is always the challenge of how do I want to spend my time, how do I need to spend my time, how do I make time for all the things. And how do I find value in what I don’t isn’t all productivity?
This resonates with me so deeply. Thanks for putting into words/pictures something that is so difficult.
Can totally relate although coming out the other side as been parenting young children for pst 23 years and now youngest is a teenager and it’s not the craziness of young children any more. Just another kind of crazy. But forever more one part of my brain is on standby for parenting even when working. And sometimes my brain runs away with ideas and I can’t physically keep up- and that’s hard. You’re amazing Phoebe. And you do the best you can. That is all we can do. Working mums are heroes x
I resonate deeply with everything you've written here about juggling new parenthood, work, and tending to the creative spark. It's truly too much, and things get dropped! After the birth of my second kid, my license expired and I didn't notice for 6 months (thankfully with a remote job I don't need to drive much, ha!).
I won't try to impart any advice, just wanted to say I see you, fellow working creative parent, and I'm holding you in the light (as we Quakers say).
The resonance is so so so deep. Thank you for this candid and honest share that feels like a mirror in many ways. And we cannot wait for your new books -- absolutely obsessed with Little Witch Hazel, The Blue House, Sonya's Chickens, and everything You create. ✨🧡
As someone who will be stepping into parenthood for the first time in a few short months, I appreciate seeing that I’m not alone in grappling with productivity and identity. Thank you for sharing such vulnerable feelings.
This is very relatable. I have 4 & 5 year old boys and am only NOW getting some time during the days to work… before now I would only work in the evenings when they went to bed, and as I’m sure you can relate, I would be too tired to even go to the studio to begin with. *sigh*. Being an artist and a parent is very difficult. Making art fills your cup and recharges your soul, yet finding the time to devote to that feels nearly impossible. It often feels incredibly isolating (especially when most of your friends aren’t parents and can’t understand the struggle). Although, it feels nice to read things like this that make you feel less alone in it all :)
I relate so much to productivity being associated with my identity. And this year, I’m experiencing more of that overwhelm and freeze like you mentioned. It triggers so much shame. Lots to unpack I guess 😂
Also huge taskmaster fan over here!
So I had to interrupt my reading to put The Dark Wives on hold at the library. I am a big fan of Ann Cleeves, butI also notice that Vera's fat body is talked about. It seems that Vera is willfully fat in an unhealthy and in a stereotypically hard-boiled kind of way. I will have to read the new one and get back to you. I do not like the Gamache novels, although I read a few of them. I find Gamache himself kind of off putting, because we are supposed to admire him so much.
Anyways, I really hear you about work, creativity and children. I don't know who I am anymore before motherhood. I write a substack newsletter with my younger kid. We are trying to figure out how productive we should be and how much we should encourage or congratulate each other for our productivity.
Yeah it's so interesting because sometimes the way that characters in the Vera books react to Vera's body (writing her off as being slovenly or unprofessional before their opinions being turned around) like ALMOST calls attention to and comments on anti-fat bias, and the way Vera reacts to herself too, berating herself and stuff, it feels really close to saying something really complex and compassionate, but I don't know if there's quite enough self awareness to push it over the edge into that... if that makes sense!
The books almost start a good conversation about anti-fat bias or fear of fatness. Vera still is alone amongst colleagues who respect her, rely on her, and are surprised by how quick she moves for a fat person. I seem to get the idea she is alone without a personal life or even real work friends because of how fat she is. I don't know. Maybe how she occupies her body is too much detail, too nuanced, to expect a crime novel togo into?
This post has really made me think about how I speak to and of my daughter. She is nearly 9, and she will do the same thing, draw and paint all day if she could; she's ever so good at it. But you're right. I don't want her to rely on praise, I don't want this to be her only identity because she knows she's good at it. I don't really know how to change this, but maybe I just, we just don't say anything at all. Maybe I talk too much. Xxx
And for what it's worth-- I really don't think praising kids or being positive and supportive of the things they're showing interest or passion in is all bad, like I said, I don't fault my parents for it, and I don't feel as the ONLY reason I create things is for praise or out of obligation to be productive. I think it's just a complex facet that feels so inextricably linked to existing in capitalism that I'm thinking a lot about. Just to be clear!! <3
It’s really refreshing to hear from an artist I admire that you’re also struggling with all the things!!! What a beautiful chance to redefine relationships to work. Thanks for this! Also, if you weren’t joking about the clogs, yes please?????? 😂💜
I should have said-- that I do want to resell them, not just give them away! They were $120 :/ let me know your email if you're still interested!!
Totally figured you were selling!!! And, that's a little out of my price range. I hope they find a new home!
We love who you are & who you will become.
💚 🌈
Relatable. I want less on my plate but freeze when given opportunities WHICH I WANT and seek out lol. Whew . Lovely read as always!
Oh wow this post gave me all the feels. A full hearted yea to wanting to be reminded of the 40 (42 for me) weeks of carrying. Also to the not wanting to be working more than full time
Hours but needing to. Oh I hear you sister. And I cannot even nearly wait for those new books. We are EXTREME little witch hazel fans in this household 🩷